Saturday, January 15, 2011

When Did Vanity Fair Become Tiger Beat...

Okay, I'm not mad...really. Okay, maybe a little. But it's only because I outgrew "Tiger Beat" and "16" about, oh, I don't know, a hundred years ago.

Throughout the semester, the bulk of my reading is text-book. Don't feel too sorry for me, though, because I also read a ton of literature for my English major. However, in light of all this homework, I really look forward to receiving my monthly Harper's and Vanity Fair to enjoy the articulate interviews and literary pieces.

I was not pleased to find none other than Justin Bieber delivered to my door via this month's issue. Amidst such interviews as Tony Blair, Warren Buffet, an incredibly informative piece on Julian Assange in all his arrogance exposed, and a wonderful tribute to the great J.D. Salinger, I really don't need some barely-pubescent kid bare-chested relaying how he's such a deep thinker as the author compels us to believe he's not typical - he's a phenomenon.

The colorful expose is peppered with insightful Bieber quotes such as, "My goal is to make people happy, inspire them, and have everyone root for me." Another comes from Mama-Bieber, "We don't have yes-men around him. I don't want him being a diva." Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! A needle in the eye would be less painful than this!

According to this article, the kid has "Mozart" as the name on his dressing room and gushes how "Justin's concerts feature lights, lasers, elaborate production, and contraptions that even Mick Jagger or Bono would envy." Been to a concert lately? Any concert? They're all like that - everyone wants more bang for their buck. Wonder how that "no-diva" thing is workin' out?

There are photos of young girls posed to clamor after Justin, a little girl posed on a picnic blanket with him, Justin blowing bubbles, Justin with his shirt open, Justin, Justin, Justin. And again I say: Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh! An article worthy of "Tiger Beat" complete with pictures to hang on the wall.

I am a grown up. I want a grown-up magazine. Again, I'm not mad. Just don't do it again.


  1. I mentioned the Bieber thing in a blog post before when I found him in my Glamour. That was bad enough. But Bieber on the cover of Vanity Fair??? Not OK. NOT OK!!!

  2. I remember the Glamour expose when he was romping through the surf with Kim was a bit creepy!


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