Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Twenty Questions Are Nineteen Too Many....

So I was trolling the internet tonight wondering why I haven't heard from my girl Maureen Dowd lately, especially after last night's State of the Union. I had no luck finding any pearls of wisdom, but I did find myself on a CNN site asking 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life. To quote Mia (Uma Thurman) in "Pulp Fiction,"...this doesn't sound like the usual mindless, boring, getting-to-know you chit-chat. This sounds like you actually have something to say." Okay, I'll we go.

1. What questions should I be asking myself?
Well, I guess that would be "Why am I trolling the internet instead of doing my homework?" Not life-changing, but does give pause as I realize I will be up waaay past my bed-time, thus causing baggy eyes in the morning. Maybe there really is something to this...let's move on.

2. Is this what I want to be doing?
No, but I also don't want to be doing homework. I want to jump to the part where I receive my degree, win my Pulitzer, and have huge trucks pull up in front of my house dumping piles of money in the yard as I jet off to France...again.

3. Why worry?
I don't. Next question.

4. Why do I like {cupcakes} more than I like {people}?
Better does whoever wrote this get published on CNN and I'm still hangin' out in my world? Cupcakes? Dark chocolate and wine, maybe, but cupcakes? Next...

5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?
This is getting a bit existential, but I would like to think political correctness could go out the window and be replaced with common courtesy, people begin writing letters again rather than text, discretion would no longer be so elusive to so many, and Mark Twain's work was left alone. All it takes is some strategic whining and I should be well on my way to utopia.

6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?
This seems to suggest I need to change in some fashion. Next...

7. Are {vegans} better people?
Is any one person better than any one else? Especially based upon what they eat? I think not. I think those among us who don't judge others are better people. That's my opinion and I'm stickin' to it. Except for those Taco-Bell-orange-quasi-meat-eating freaks. That's just wrong on so many levels. The steak taco, however...that's good stuff.

8. What is my body telling me?
That I need more right back...

9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
This is assuming a chic chick would even possess junk and is too much like a Geico commercial to warrant my attention. Next...

10. What's so funny?
That I've already wasted this much time on this dumb article. So friends, we're done. I am way to attention-deficit disordered to keep on with this nonsense.

Needless to say, this was not life changing for me in any regard other than it was five minutes of mine that I'll never get back. But you have the link...let me know what you think. I am moving on and starting my homework, which actually will change my life. 

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