Monday, December 6, 2010
You'll Always Be My Baby...
I have shared with you how amazing my children are. And I am not just saying this because they are my children...they are the type of people I would like even if I wasn't related to them. I feel blessed to be a witness to who they are becoming and having the opportunity to walk this journey with them. But as I reflect upon my baby, I can't help but stop in my tracks and give thanks for the wonder of it all.
Over 12 years ago, I had what is known as a millionaire's family: good marriage, one boy, one girl. Without doubt, I was alive, but I don't think I was really living. I worked...a lot...and although I had everything I thought I'd ever wanted, I no doubt took it all for granted.
When I became pregnant with our third child, people actually asked me why I would do such a thing...I already had a perfect family. What did they know? What did I know? Obviously, God felt I needed a wake-up call in my busy life and even though I was active in my faith, He chose to take this time to shake me to my core.
Close to the end of my first trimester, I became violently ill to the point I passed out and was taken from work in an ambulance. Without going into all the details, my body, for the first time in my life, was fighting against me. After much evaluation, I was advised from my trusted doctor that I was suffering a miscarriage; I was sent home to wait for everything to be over, at which point I would come back for all the stuff I didn't want to endure. I evaluated all the horrible things I had done in my life and figured this must be my judgement day. Despite my begging and pleading and bartering with God, there was nothing they could do; it would medically impossible for this little being to survive.
But survive she did, against all medical reasoning that to this day has my doctor still shaking his head in wonder. God has a special purpose for my baby, and I am witness to it daily. She does not get sucked into the drama of other girls her age...she is a peace-maker. A talented artist, musician, seamstress, scholar, she possesses an intelligence and sense of humor that astounds me. Don't get me wrong, she does not suffer fools lightly (I have NO idea where she gets that from.) Most of all, she gave to me a gift beyond anything I could have ever imagined...a life I would have never allowed myself to know had she not made me take inventory of who I was and where I was going.
When she was born, I became a stay-at-home Mom for six years and enjoyed every moment of it. For the first time, I had to rely on someone else for my financial well-being when the burden (and it was a burden) was placed solely on my husband. For someone called a control-freak, this was no easy feat. But the time with my children, having them all to myself, will bless me for the rest of my life.
Today, I can't fathom how twelve years passed so quickly. I thank God everyday for giving me another chance and for blessing me with this amazing young woman, who with her presence makes my world a beautiful place to be. I love her dearly, and know God has big plans for her. And without doubt, she will not let Him down.