Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Too Much Information...

The thought "less is more" is lost on many. The need to share every little detail regardless of whether or not we want to know needs to be examined. Let me just say: I am on a need to know basis and I really don't need to know much.

For example, if you begin your conversation with, "This morning when I went to the bathroom..." STOP RIGHT THERE! Unless you are one of my three children, anything following that introduction is surely not something I need to be aware of. Nor does anyone else within earshot.

Any discussion beginning with, "You didn't hear this from me..." or "I really shouldn't be repeating this..." again, I must stop you. I just don't want that much responsibility in my life. Now when one of your confidantes lets your news slip to someone else (and it always slips to someone else) you can rest assured it wasn't me.

The next time one needs to discuss incontinence and diarrhea issues at the drugstore, let's use our indoor voices, okay? How can I stop my teenager from nearly wetting himself when you're yelling across three aisles to learn if your husband still has the green-apple quickstep?

Please be aware, this is not limited to conversation. Just because you can wear stretchy pants doesn't mean you should. I don't need to see your history in front of me walking down the coffee aisle at Wal-Mart. The world does not need to know you are wearing a red bra with a halter top (especially to church - you can't make this stuff up) and I don't need to see your girls bursting forth from a shirt the size my daughters wore three years ago. Discretion seems to be highly underrated.

I will always share in your joys, trumpet your accomplishments, help carry your sorrows, and laugh with you until our sides split. Let's just keep the gory details to a minimum.

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