Thursday, September 15, 2011

How Soon Is Now...

Blatant sharing of, in my opinion, one of the BEST songs The Smiths ever did? Of course, but it really sums it up quite nicely this evening.

I have decided I need to get my mitts on one of those time-changers Hermione so expertly wielded in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." Do you know how handy this little device could be? Let's take a look at just a few of the many examples of when going back in time could have been most helpful, shall we?

At work we were given a deadline to submit a report. And not just any report - THE report to substantiate just what it is we do. Suddenly the little blue e-mail box pops up in the lower right hand corner of not only my screen but all of our screens informing us this report is not due next actually needs to be done, well, today. Shut your mouth...

Example number two - after working all day followed by class that evening, I am finally on my way home. I call the family to make sure everyone is there doing their thing. Does anyone need anything before I get home? Do we have milk for breakfast in the morning? There is a bottle of wine in the rack waiting for me, right? Like a symphony to my ears, all is right with the world  ~ just come home.

Upon arrival, I am greeted by my family with open arms and harmony of song. Well, I may be exaggerating...I was really greeted by two pugs begging for kisses. Bleech...

I set myself up at the table to begin my homework when my daughter spies my $100 graphing calculator. You know, the twin to the one I just had to purchase for her brother two days prior. "Oh, the way...I need one of those calculators, too."

"Really? When do you need to have it?"

"Now - so I can bring it to class tomorrow."

Can't you just hear The Smith's guitar rift as I get out my time traveler and go back not only an hour before, but two days prior when I bought my son's - $30 cheaper than they were that night I journeyed back out for my daughter's. We're gonna need more wine...

Example number three - dear, dear teenage son sits on a committee for church. It is 9AM Sunday morning when he comes to me to relay he has a committee meeting.

"When?" I ask.


Cue the guitar rift....

The best part about the time changer is when they come to take me away in the padded truck, I will reach into my sweater and pull the time-changer out to transport me back to a time when I possessed all my faculties.

If I can just recall when that may have been...

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