Saturday, September 15, 2012


For many years I have patiently awaited the time when I could possibly become one of those sage women who hear things said about them and think, "Who cares?"...and actually mean it.

Many of us encounter negativity in our lives and claim we are unaffected...but this proclamation doesn't dissolve the lingering stink permeated into our being. Though I may try to stay positive and upbeat for those around me, I sometimes come up short and despite my best efforts, others are going to make me out to be whatever they need me to be...not what I necessarily I am.

Case in point: yesterday I had  conversation where I was the level-headed-non-confrontational-one (I know, right?! It can happen...) Despite every effort on my part, when a non-involved-third-party relayed said conversation back to me I was the "bad guy." And this is when it milestone...

I looked directly at non-involved-third-party and said, "I could not care less."

And I meant it.

And I was free.

This one moment culminated in a gift of clarity over 42 years in the making and it is this: people may make crap up about me speak mis-truths about me and there is nothing I can do about it. People are going to derive whatever they want from me and there is nothing I can do about it. At the end of the day, if I can lay my head on the pillow, give thanks for the day and know I did the best I could...well, that's the best I can do. Worry is wasted energy and I need to reserve mine for important things, like writing four papers in 24 hours (which I really should be doing right now but as you know, faithful reader, I am a terrible procrastinator.) I am sure one would think this a terrible characteristic...

...but I could not care less.

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