Saturday, September 8, 2012

An E-Mail From Kim Kardashian...

Recently I received an e-mail from Kim Kardashian. I kid you not! But before you have me pegged as her next BFF, I must advise that I have never flashed my hoo hoo (sans undergarments or otherwise) getting into or out of a vehicle, I do not have a nasally voice utilized to end every sentence as a question, and I have been married nearly 20 years as opposed to days/hours so it is safe to assume I do not fit the Kim-Kardashian-BFF-mould.

Come to find out this will-put-her-name-on-anything-to-make-a-buck entrepreneur has made some sort of deal with ShoeDazzle, whom I have never bought anything from and now don't see myself doing so. Here's a shout-out to merchants...not all of us are intrigued with Ms. Kardashian or care if...wait, let me get the e-mail...oh! here it is...her "August Picks Are Going Fast!"

It is really lost on me what makes this woman...or any of her clan for that matter...famous. Yes, her step-father is Bruce Jenner who absolutely earned his stripes as a gold-medal winning Olympic runner back in the day before he morphed into a hot-mess-of-plastic-surgery:

But the rest of them? Hmmm....I got nothin'...

When I become famous it is going to be for something meaningful. I envision my pearls of wisdom enlightening all of man-kind to a place where peace, love, and joy will reign supreme and benefit-card-wielding-folks no longer carry I-phones. And I promise not to burden you if my "August Picks Are Going Fast" because not only are you smarter than that...I know in the real world we just don't care. 

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