I've heard it said one should never judge another until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Then, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. But that doesn't seem right, either.
I recently found myself confronted with two, possibly three, actually, more along the lines of four dramas unfolding in the lives of some folks I care about. Armed with my knowledge there are two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle lies the truth, I have really tried to just listen and stay out of it. However, as any one who has tried to take this higher ground knows, this path of least resistance rarely works and whoever is doing the talking at the time desperately wants the listener to jump on the drama bandwagon with them. And sit on their side, of course.
It has taken 42 years on this earth to learn and embrace some universal truths:
1) Usually one more sentence could shed a whole lot of clarity on the situation, but this is usually the one sentence withheld.
2) Two people can be witness to the same situation, take two entirely different perspectives away from it, and neither be wrong about their recollection.
3) If it has nothing to do with me, truly the very best thing I can do is stay out of it altogether. Really.
4) Regardless of what is proclaimed, no one really wants you to give them the truth. Really. They don't.
5) I don't care what any one says, giving foie gras a fancy name does not make it taste less gross to me...it's still liver. But I digress...
After receiving several different phone calls from several different people seeking my input on several different situations, I decided to follow the aforementioned advice. Armed with the universal truths, I walked a mile. I said nothing. I just walked. And I thought about who I am and who I want to be and how I would want to be treated.
As honored as I am to be asked my divine wisdom thoughts, I decided it is not my job, desire, or inclination to offer any suggestion to anyone other than perhaps to walk it off. It's amazing how much clarity comes from breathing in the fresh air, counting one's blessings, and taking stock of what is truly important. So that's my advice...leave the drama; take a walk.
Oh, and wear your own shoes. Just as I am comfortable in my own skin, I also do much better in my own shoes.
I really agree with you...leave the drama; take a walk...I think so many people have an opinion on everything...silence can sometimes be the thing we want to hear....thank you so much for your lovely comments on my blog...I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Sunday.
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I'm going to take your advice and go for a long walk on this bright and sunny morning.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your family have a peaceful Sunday Beth.
I. Hear. 'Ya! I had a drama filled week too and it is always the best course not to get involved. Give a listen, a shoulder to cry on, whatever...but like you mentioned, there are ALWAYS two side to a story. And yes, I do think in some situations one side can be more obviously the "truth" side but it still doesn't pay to get in the middle. Then there are always some "friends" who only seem to thrive when there is drama in their lives (in turn, the need to share, rehash) and from these I flee (and if they don't start shutting up already I am taking their shoes too). xxBliss
ReplyDeleteEverything you mentioned in this post I agree with. The more opinionated and entrenched you get into someone else's drama, the more they are going to continue dumping on you. It's a negative cycle that will only bring anxiety to you and make you feel badly.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very mature and level-headed way to approach situations like this.